Well look, ANOTHER reboot. And… just…
10 seconds into the trailer and we’ve already got soldiers. And the rest of the trailer… Call it whatever the fuck you want. It can be GI Joe III Revenge of the return of cobra but NOTHING about the trailer spells “mummy”.
Is this a joke? Because this entire thing looks like a joke. It looks like a big joke scripted by SNL. Explosions, terrorists, CGI fuckfests, gunshots and more “Mr President, we’re fucked”; this has GOT to be a joke.
I’d rather go watch Tomb of the Dragon Emperor in 3D on IMAX. (And I’m dead fucking serious. I’d rather watch that atrocity than this abomination)
"The universe is one big joke, and the joke is on us"
Ah yes, Universal’s second attempt to reboot the Universal Monsters into a MARVEL-esque cinematic universe cause their first attempt with Dracula Untold was so abysmal, they officially stated that THIS Mummy reboot will kick off it’s hared universe just like how all studios are doing with cinematic universes!
"The world is merciless and it's also very beautiful."
Is there anything we can do to stop reboots? Maybe we should get porn sites to do XXX rated version of everything that is trying to be rebooted and get that to be the top search result on Google? Can we get the internet on mass to make up fake retro IPs and try to get them rebooted so it will technically be a new IP?
"Now, I’ve forgiven the world and myself, too. I teach myself to smile again. One day I’ll get there, I know I will. Even if it takes me not nine, but nine hundred lives." -Susan Ashworth from The Cat Lady
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